A Very UnMerry Christmas
by I Caught Myself
Summary: Follow up to "I'm Trying To Say I Do" Jak and Keira are celebrating their first Christmas together and decided to invite their close friends... but someone else shows up, none other than Connor! I promised that he would return one day, and so he has!
1. Chapter 1

**Disclaimer:**** I do not own Jak and Daxter, but I do own Connor!**

**It's Christmas time and Connor ruined Jak and Keira's wedding, so why not their Christmas too? Read and enjoy!**

**A Very Un-Merry Christmas**

**Chapter 1: A Family Christmas**

"I can't believe it's our first Christmas together!" Keira squealed. "Oh my God, it's going to be soooooooo much fun!"

"Is Samos staying for Christmas?" Jak asked.

"Well yeah – he is my father." Keira replied. Jak mimed shooting himself in the head.

"Can I invite Damas?" Jak asked.

"..." Keira looked at him. "Jak, Damas is dead."

"I meant ghost Damas." Jak said.

"I think you're getting confused with Halloween." Keira pointed out.

"Oh yeah." Jak said. "But still, I'm inviting ghost Damas. I've never had a family Christmas before."

"What about Christmas back in Sandover?" Keira asked.

"You can't call that family." Jak replied. "The whole village was there."

"The village was family!" Keira protested.

"No." Jak said. "There was the mayor who kept falling asleep in his dinner, my uncle... was he really my uncle? Anyway, he set fire to his moustache, that crazy bird lady who wouldn't let us eat the turkey because she thought it was still alive, the sculptor who fed the Christmas ham to that goddamn muse, the fisherman who smelt like fish..."

"Well, you'd expect a fisherman to smell like fish." Keira rolled her eyes.

"... and that farmer forced me to eat vegetables." Jak finished.

"You needed to eat vegetables!" Keira protested. "All you ever ate was junk food!"

"So?! I still turned out fine!"

"Maybe we should invite everyone to Christmas." Keira suggested.

"Not the whole of Haven, Kras, Sandover and Spargus..." Jak groaned.

"NO!" Keira scowled. "Just our friends!"

"Are we still inviting Samos?" Jak asked.

"Yes." Keira replied.

"BUT HE'S NOT MY FRIEND!" Jak exploded.

"Jak, everyone is basically family, so we're inviting our family for Christmas." Keira stated.

"Even Erol and Razer?"

"Yes."

"Even after they left Connor to try and blow up the house?"

"They're going to be under surveillance."

"I'm not spying on them." Jak snapped. "They can be someone else's problem."

"Do you think we should invite Connor?" Keira asked.

"..."

"He'll probably turn up anyway, even if we don't invite him."

"..."

"Say something, please?"

"..."

"Jak?"

"..."

"Fine." Keira snapped. "Don't say anything."

"Connor is NOT coming for Christmas." Jak declared.

"How are you going to stop him?" Keira asked. "Remember what Erol said: 'He's an unpredictable madman'!"

"Are you sure Erol wasn't talking about himself?" Jak asked thoughtfully.

"I'm sure." Keira replied.

"We're not inviting Connor." Jak sighed. "And if he does appear, we'll just have to turn him away."

-----------

"HI!"

"What are you doing here?" Jak asked weakly, glaring at Connor, who was standing in front of him, wearing a Santa Clause outfit.

"I've got a job at the shopping centre as Santa so I decided to stop by on my way home!" Connor explained, pulling Jak into a hug. "Oh my God, it's AGES since I've seen you!"

"It's only a few months..." Jak said, trying to detach Connor from him.

"Can I come in?" Connor asked.

"No." Jak replied quickly.

"Why not?" Connor asked. "It's rude to leave someone standing on your doorstep."

"I'm busy." Jak replied.

"Jak! I need you to help me write these invitations!" Keira called from down the hall.

"Invitations?" Connor asked. "OH for Christmas!"

"Yes, Connor." Jak replied through gritted teeth. "For our family and friends."

"Make sure there's plenty of glitter on mine." Connor winked.

"Connor..." Jak sighed.

"What?" Connor asked. "Did you run out of glitter?"

"Jak?" Keira asked. "Who are you talking to?" she walked to the front door and saw Jak enveloped in a hug from a man dressed like Santa Clause.

"Hey Keira." Connor grinned.

"Connor!" Keira exclaimed. "How... nice... to see you."

"It's nice to see you too." Connor said.

"I was just telling Connor that he..." Jak started to say.

"... Is invited for Christmas!" Keira exclaimed.

"Oh thank you so much!" Connor gasped. "I don't have any to spend Christmas with!" Jak pulled her aside.

"I was going to say isn't." Jak growled.

"Jak, how can we turn him away?" Keira asked, pointing to Connor, dressed in his Santa outfit.

"Very easily." Jak replied through gritted teeth.

"He's just lonely. You heard him yourself – he doesn't have anyone to spend Christmas with." Keira protested. "Christmas is all about being kind to others."

"I thought it was about presents and food."

"No."

"Fine." Jak sighed. "He can come round on Christmas day... but he can't stay any longer than that."

"Deal." Keira said. She rushed back into the house then reappeared with a bag of envelopes. "Connor, could you do me a favour?"

"Sure."

"Can you deliver these to everyone?" Keira asked.

"Of course!" Connor said. "Don't worry – I'll be back in a flash!"

-----------

Erol screamed when he opened the door to his and Razer's apartment, to reveal Connor standing on his doorstep, dressed like Santa Clause.

"Hi Erol, long time no see." Connor grinned.

"What-are-you-doing-here?" Erol asked very slowly, pointing his gun at Connor's head.

"I came to deliver your invite to Jak and Keira's for Christmas." Connor explained, holding the envelope out to Erol. Erol snatched the envelope from Connor and tore it open. His eyes scanned the letter.

"RAZER!" Erol yelled. Razer came downstairs and also screamed when he saw Connor.

"What?" he asked, glaring at the Santa Clause impersonator on their doorstep.

"Are we going to Jak and Keira's for Christmas?" Erol asked.

"I guess so." Razer replied. Erol ticked the box that said 'yes' and then wrote: 'only if we can kill Connor'. Erol tucked the letter back into the envelope and gave it to Connor before slamming the door in his face.

-----------

Connor knocked on the palace door and was greeted by two badass looking Freedom League Guards. They took him into the throne room, where Ashelin was sitting on the throne with Torn standing beside her.

"CONNOR?!" Ashelin yelled. "I THOUGHT I TOLD YOU NOT TO LET HIM IN!"

"Oh, well that's a nice hello." Connor grumbled.

"What are you doing here?" Torn asked.

"I'm delivering invitations for Jak and Keira's Christmas party." Connor replied smugly.

"We're going." Ashelin said.

"Hey Torn, do you still have that warped crush on Jak?" Connor asked.

"Nope." Torn replied, remembering when he crashed Jak and Keira's wedding. "Which is why me and Ashelin are married."

"WHY DIDN'T YOU INVITE ME TO THE WEDDING?" Connor demanded.

"We eloped." Torn sighed.

"Oh, I guess that's why." Connor said. "Well, I have more invitations to deliver. I'll see you guys there!" Connor was escorted out of the throne room.

-----------

Connor walked into the Naughty Ottsel, and Tess immediately pointed a gun at him, glaring.

"Get out." Tess snapped.

"What did I do?" Connor asked. "I'm just here to deliver an invitation to Jak and Keira's!"

"Oh." Tess said, lowering the gun. "Daxter, you can put the ninja throwing stars away!"

"Fine." Daxter sighed.

"Why are you delivering Jak and Keira's invitations?" Tess asked, accepting the invitation from Connor.

"Keira asked me to." Connor replied. "And I think the Santa outfit makes it an even more fitting task."

"Are you going to be there?" Daxter asked.

"Yep." Connor beamed. Tess and Daxter looked at each other hesitantly, before ticking the 'yes' box.

-----------

"Wow." Jak said, looking through the pile of invitations Connor had dropped off, before they had finally got rid of him. "Everyone still agreed to come, even though Connor's going to be here."

"What's so surprising?" Keira asked. "He's a nice guy... just a little misunderstood."

"That's an understatement." Jak glowered. "I don't understand him AT ALL."

"Well, maybe spending time with him over Christmas will help you get to know him." Keira suggested.

"I'll try to get to know him – but don't blame me if I blow his brains out."

"Erol might beat you to it."

"Don't make me turn this into a race. You know I'll win."

"Just make sure it isn't in the lounge – I don't think the white furniture would look as good splattered with Connor's brains."

**Ta dah! The first chapter! I told you all Connor would return after "I'm Trying To Say I Do" and let me say, it's been great fun writing this chapter!**

**Reviews are love.**


	2. Chapter 2

**HI THERE! Oh god, the sugar and Christmas is going to my brain! It's probably a good idea if you've read "I'm Trying To Say I Do" before you read this chapter, and it's likely for more references to be added in.**

**Read and enjoy!**

**Disclaimer:**** I do not own Jak and Daxter. Just Connor **

**Chapter 2: Decorations**

"No!" Jak snapped. "The green tinsel goes in the hall!"

"Why didn't you tell me that earlier?" Torn growled.

"Because you weren't trying to put green tinsel on the tree earlier!" Jak protested.

"There was no tree earlier!" Torn argued. "Samos only just made it grow!"

"I know!" Jak sighed. "I was there!"

"So where does the green tinsel go?" Torn asked.

"IN THE HALL!"

-----------

"Don't most people put up their decorations before Christmas Eve?" Erol asked, helping Keira sort through boxes of baubles.

"We haven't had time." Keira replied. "We had to make repairs to the house."

"Why?" Erol asked.

"When Connor set a bomb, when Jak and I left you in charge when we went on our honeymoon. REMEMBER?"

"Oh yeah." Erol said. "And then Jak gave me permission to kill him."

"So you chased him with an axe." Keira sighed. "Where did you even get that axe from?"

"I can't remember. I was too occupied trying to murder Connor." Erol said through gritted teeth.

"Where is Connor anyway?" Keira asked.

"The further away, the better." Erol grumbled.

-----------

"HELP!" Connor ran into the living room, wearing the Christmas lights.

"Why are you were the Christmas lights?" Jak asked.

"I went into the loft to get them and THEY ATTACKED ME!" Connor replied.

"..." Jak and Torn looked at each other.

"Christmas lights can't attack people. They're inanimate objects." Torn sighed.

"THEN EXPLAIN HOW THEY LIT UP ON THEIR OWN!" Connor yelled.

"Batteries?" Jak suggested. Erol and Keira walked into the living room.

"What is he doing?" Erol asked, pointing at Connor.

"Apparently, the Christmas lights attacked him." Jak shrugged. Erol raised one eyebrow.

"Connor, go and take off the Christmas lights." Keira sighed.

"I can't!" Connor protested. "I'm tangled up in them!"

"Well try." Torn shrugged.

"I have tried!" Connor insisted.

"Fine." Jak snapped. "I'll try and get them off." Jak stormed over to Connor and began to untangle the Christmas lights from him.

-----------

"HOW DID THIS HAPPEN?" Jak demanded. He too, was now tangled up in the Christmas lights – with Connor.

"ARGH THEY'VE ATTACKED YOU NOW!" Connor screamed.

"Someone... anyone... PLEASE!" Jak sobbed. "Get me out of these!"

"Erm..." Torn said. "I'll be back soon." He walked out of the room and returned with a pair of wire cutters.

"Can I have them?" Erol asked.

"NO!" everyone yelled.

"Fine." Erol muttered under his breath. "I was just going to stab Connor in the face with them."

"Stand still." Torn warned. He walked over to Connor and cut through the wires. Soon enough, Connor was free.

"Wow, thanks Torn!" Connor exclaimed. "I'm off to the soup kitchen."

"Why?" Jak asked. Erol started praying and muttering thanks to God.

"To feed the homeless, duh." Connor rolled his eyes. "It is Christmas Eve – I'm spreading kindness and good will." Connor walked out of the house.

"I didn't know you were religious." Torn said, turning to face Erol.

"I am now." Erol said. "There must be some sort of higher power out there – they got rid of Connor."

"This is true." Torn said. "Does this mean you care about Christmas being the birth of Jesus Christ?"

"Hell no!" Erol gasped. "All I want are my presents!"

"Thought so." Torn sighed.

"Can we get on with the decorating now?" Jak asked. "At least whilst Connor's gone and we have some peace."

"Yeah, okay." Keira said, walking over to the Christmas tree. Torn picked up some tinsel and followed Keira.

"THE GREEN TINSEL GOES IN THE HALL!"

-----------

"Jak! Where are we all meant to be sleeping?" Torn asked. Everyone was gathered in the living room.

"I didn't know you were staying over." Jak said.

"Well yeah. It's Christmas day tomorrow." Torn pointed out. "There's no point in us going home."

"Yes there is!" Jak protested.

"WHERE'S YOUR CHRISTMAS SPIRIT?" Samos yelled.

"Ugh fine, you can stay." Jak snapped. _I hate that old man so much..._

"Well, where are we going to stay?" Torn asked.

"In the living room. On the floor." Jak replied.

"THAT'S NO WAY TO TREAT A GUEST!"

"SAMOS, SHUT UP!" Jak yelled.

"I WAS KIND ENOUGH TO LET YOU MARRY MY DAUGHTER AND THIS IS HOW YOU TREAT ME?"

"HOW IS THIS RELEVANT?" Jak asked.

"YOU WANT ME TO SLEEP ON THE FLOOR LIKE A DOG, AFTER THE KINDNESS I SHOWED YOU!" Samos bellowed.

"YOU USED TO MAKE ME SLEEP ON THE FLOOR!" Jak protested.

"YOU HAVE NO RESPECT FOR YOUR ELDERS!"

"YOU HAVE NO RESPECT FOR ANYONE!"

"STOP!" Keira shrieked. Jak and Samos stopped arguing and looked at each other, then Keira.

"What?" Jak asked.

"IT'S CHRISTMAS!" Keira shouted. "IT'S A TIME FOR FAMILY AND GENEROUSITY – YOU TWO SHOULDN'T BE YELLING!"

"He started it." Jak grumbled.

"I DON'T CARE WHO STARTED IT!" Keira snapped. "Because of this, EVERYONE is sleeping on the floor in the living room. Even me and YOU!"

"Why do we have to sleep on the floor?!" Jak demanded. "It's our house!"

"I DON'T CARE." Keira yelled. "WE'RE SLEEPING ON THE FLOOR, THEY'RE SLEEPING ON THE FLOOR – THE END."

"I'm not sleeping near Erol." Jak grumbled. "He snores."

"HEY!" Erol protested.

"Come on guys, it's Christmas." Keira said. "Can't you just be _nice_ to each other?"

"Nope." Erol and Jak both said at the same time.

"Well at least try and be civil." Keira pleaded.

"Fine." Jak sighed. "But I'm still not sleeping near him."

"Maybe we should invite Tess, Daxter, Ashelin and Razer... they're meant to be coming here in Christmas Day too." Torn suggested.

"I'm not sleeping near Erol AND Razer." Jak huffed, folding his arms.

"To be honest, I don't think anyone is going to." Torn said.

"I'll go and phone them up and tell them to come round." Keira sighed. "DON'T. EVEN. THINK. OF. ARGUING." Keira walked out of the room, into the hallway.

"I suppose we should go and get some sleeping bags." Jak sighed.

**Review please!**


	3. Chapter 3

**Hello everyone x) it's nearly Christmas! This chapter reminded me a bit of my house on Christmas Eve, what with the noise level and my two sisters and I in the same room... oh, how I love Christmas :D**

**Warning:**** may be some Jak 2 and 3 spoilers**

**Disclaimer:**** I do not own Jak and Daxter. Just Connor**

**Chapter 3: Twas the night before Christmas**

Jak buried his head in his pillows, trying to shut out the level of noise. Sure, he was fine with everyone staying over at his and Keira's house, but the noise level was ridiculous!

"Can you please quieten down?" Jak snapped, rolling over to face the noisy inhabitants of his house.

"JAK, WHERE'S YOUR CHRISTMAS SPIRIT?" Samos asked.

"WHY DO YOU YELL AT ME ALL THE TIME?" Jak shrieked.

"..." Samos said nothing and glared at Jak.

"What did I do this time?" Jak asked, turning to face Keira and folding his arms across his chest.

"Jak, Samos is deaf." Keira replied.

"Oh." Jak looked from Keira, to Samos, to everyone else in the room and then back at Keira. "Did everyone know?"

"Yes." Keira sighed.

"How come no-one ever told me?!" Jak asked.

"Because you automatically stop listening to me whenever my father is even mentioned!" Keira snapped.

"Because I know it's going to be about him disapproving of something I've done!" Jak insisted.

"At least have the courtesy to listen!" Keira snapped. "I thought you were inviting ghost Damas, anyway?"

"The Lord of the Underworld wouldn't let him come home for Christmas." Jak explained. "He told me I had to wait until Halloween next year. I suppose it makes sense..."

"Oh, I'm so sorry Jak!" Keira exclaimed and threw her arms around his neck.

"ARGH!" Jak screamed as he was tackled to the floor. "Can't-breathe!"

"Hopefully, she'll strangle him for me." Erol said, turning to face Razer.

"She won't strangle Jak." Razer rolled his eyes, lighting up a cigarette.

"I'm allowed to dream." Erol sighed.

"Keira-I-can't-breathe." Jak wheezed.

"I'm sorry Jak!" Keira bawled. "I've been making this Christmas all about 'them' –" she gestured to the other occupants of the living room, "– and not about 'us'! I should've realised that you only Act how you do towards my father because you're missing your own father!"

"No, I hate Samos with a passion." Jak muttered under his breath.

"What was that?" Keira asked.

"Oh, I was just saying how right you are." Jak responded through gritted teeth.

"Don't worry Jak! I have the perfect plan for you to see Damas at Christmas!" Keira said.

"Does it involve us murdering Jak to join Damas in the underworld?" Erol asked hopefully.

"No." Keira glowered.

"At was worth a try." Erol shrugged.

"Hang on Keira, I need to deal with this myself." Jak said, shunning Keira. Jak walked over to Erol and stood in front of the Krimzon Guard Captain, drawing himself up to his full height, which was basically the same height as Erol.

"What?" Erol asked

"I don't think you're being very nice." Jak glared. "I've invited you into our home for Christmas..."

"Actually, you didn't invite us." Erol smirked. "Keira just signed your name at the end of the invitation."

"Fine. KEIRA invited you into our house with my reluctantly given consent, and you're wearing out the warm welcome with death wishes for me!" Jak exclaimed. "Don't you think there's something wrong with this picture?!"

"..." Erol looked around the room, looking confused. "I don't see a picture."

"IT'S A FIGURE OF SPEECH!"

"Oh!" Erol realised. "Nope, not really."

"You're being mean!" Jak snapped. "You have no respect for me or Keira!"

"Of course I have respect for Keira!" Erol gasped. "Oh wait – you're right. I don't have any respect for you."

"SEE?"

"Well, when you put it that way, I guess you're right." Erol said. "Sorry Jak, it's just... you did... kind of kill me twice."

"You tried to kill me numerous times!" Jak protested. "And the second time I killed you, you were trying to destroy the world!"

"Which is why I love him." Razer said, wrapping an arm around Erol's shoulders.

"... Now is not the time or the place." Jak said in disgust.

"Sorry." Razer said, stepping away from Erol and taking a long drag on his cigarette.

"WHO SAID YOU COULD SMOKE IN HERE?" Keira exploded.

"Damn." Jinx cursed and put his cigar out.

"HOW DID YOU GET IN HERE?" Daxter screamed, standing on Tess's shoulder and pointing at the explosives expert.

"Why are you dressed like an elf?" Torn asked, staring at Jinx.

"It's my weekend job." Jinx shrugged. "I work in Santa's grotto."

"Not with Connor..." Jak groaned.

"Yep." Jinx grinned. "I left a couple of sticks of dynamite in the grotto earlier... they blew Connor sky high!"

"You blew up a public place?" Ashelin gasped. No-one else cared about the damage – they only cared that Connor was gone.

"FINALLY! WE CAN HAVE CHRISTMAS IN PEACE!" Jak yelled and punched the air in triumph.

"So what is this, some kind of slumber party?" Jinx asked, looking at the sleeping bags on the floor and everyone in their PJ's.

"Keira and I invited everyone to stay for Christmas." Jak sighed. "You're welcome to stay too, Jinx."

"Aw, thanks Jak!" Jinx said.

"You're welcome." Jak sighed. "Can we at least try and get a few hours sleep?"

-----------

Jak awoke suddenly, hearing a dull thud at the other end of the room, where the fireplace was. He couldn't see anything – the room was too dark.

_Oh Precursors, what if Santa is real? I didn't leave any mince pies or a carrot for the reindeer or any sherry!_ Jak laid in his sleeping bag, panicking in the dark. He didn't know why he was panicking so much – he knew Santa didn't exist. _What if it's a burglar?_ Jak unzipped his sleeping bag and crawled out of it. He ran over to the wall and flicked the light switch.

"OH HI JAK! I'M SO GLAD I GOT THE RIGHT HOUSE!" Connor screamed, standing in front of the fireplace, wearing his Santa outfit and covered in soot. Jak turned around and began to hit his head on the wall repeatedly, until he was greeted by that feeling of numbness. When he decided his head had taken enough punishment, he turned to face Connor again.

"How did you get here...?" Jak asked weakly.

"Well, Jinx blew up Santa's grotto, which blew sky high into the air like a rocket and then I feel down your chimney. Coincidence, huh?" Connor replied.

"NO! IT'S NOT A COINCIDENCE!" Jak exploded.

"Jak, what's going on?" Keira asked sleepily. Jak's screaming had woken up everyone else in the room.

"HE'S HERE!" Jak fumed, pointing at Connor.

"WHY? HOW?" Erol yelled.

"A COINCIDENCE!" Jak shrieked.

"I DON'T BELIEVE YOU!" Erol accused.

"HE TOLD ME IT WAS A COINCIDENCE! I DON'T BELIEVE HIM EITHER!" Jak protested.

"ENOUGH!" Keira yelled. "EVERYONE, BACK TO BED! CONNOR, GO UPSTAIRS TO THE GUEST ROOM – IF YOU'RE UP THERE, NO-ONE IS LIKELY TO KILL YOU WHILST YOU'RE SLEEPING!"

"I am." Erol growled.

"NO." Keira screamed. "I DO NOT WANT TO HEAR ANOTHER WORD UNTIL CHRISTMAS MORNING!"

"Technically, it is Christmas morning..." Torn said, pointing at the clock.

"GO TO BED!"

**Ha ha! Poor Jak, he'll never escape from Connor!**


	4. Chapter 4

**Aw it's the last chapter! Thank you so much for reading and reviewing. I hope you all enjoyed it!**

**Disclaimer:**** I do not own Jak and Daxter. Just Connor.**

**Chapter 4: Merry Christmas!**

Keira opened the curtains, rousing everyone from their peaceful sleep. Torn had some fantastic bed hair, making everyone burst into hysterics.

"SO I GET BED HAIR! WHAT'S YOUR POINT?" Torn snapped, grabbing his overnight bag and storming upstairs. He swung the door to the bathroom open and then slammed it shut behind him. Torn then ran out of the bathroom screaming, because someone else had beaten him to it. Jak, Keira, Erol and Daxter ran upstairs to see why Torn was screaming. "NEXT TIME, LOCK THE DOOR!"

"I didn't expect anyone to burst in on me!" Connor protested, opening the door, wearing a dressing gown and scowling at Torn. "Why didn't I hear you coming upstairs, anyway?"

"Because I'm stealthy... like a ninja!" Torn said, pulling a dramatic pose.

"No you're not!" Jak said. "You just sneak around all of the time!"

"Like a ninja?" Torn suggested.

"No." Erol folded his arms and shook his head. "You just took all of your KG training too seriously... LIKE A FREAK!"

"I am not a freak!" Torn gasped and pointed at Jak. "He is!"

"Agreed." Erol said and shook hands with Torn.

"WHAT?" Jak roared.

"Hey Keira. I'm placing a tenner on Jak." Daxter said.

"You're on." Keira said, looking at Torn and Erol, who were both fully trained Krimzon Guards... well, Torn's an ex-Krimzon Guard but he did go through all of the training.

"How come no-one's placing any bets on me?" Connor asked.

"You're not involved." Daxter replied.

"Hang on... why are we even betting anyway?!" Keira asked. "All of you, get dressed and get your butts downstairs! It's Christmas for crying out loud!"

-----------

"PRESENTS!" Connor screeched, running over to the Christmas tree and nearly knocking Tess over in the process. He did knock Ashelin over.

"I hate him so much." Ashelin glowered as Torn helped her back up onto her feet.

"You're not the only one." Torn mused, watching Connor charge around the room. "I wish he ran on batteries."

"Why?" Ashelin asked.

"Because when the batteries died, we wouldn't replace them." Torn replied.

"Do you reckon he uses Duracell long life?" Tess asked.

"He doesn't really run on batteries!" Torn snapped. "Stupid blondes..." (I'm blonde)

"Oh..." Tess said. "Are you sure he isn't a robot?"

"I'm sure." Torn sighed. "How about we just open some presents?"

"PRESENTS!" Connor screeched and glomped Erol. Erol was not best pleased and his face turned a rather interesting shade of scarlett.

"Connor. Get. Off. Me." Erol said through gritted teeth.

"That blush contrasts with your tattoos rather nicely." Razer purred.

"Ugh. Save it for your own house." Jak wrinkled his nose.

"OUCH! HE BIT ME!" Connor screamed and released Erol from his vice like grip.

"Can't you guys just open your presents like normal people?" Keira asked weakly.

"That sounds like a good idea." Jak replied, walking over to the tree. He looked at the gift tag on one present, then another. Then another. "Why are all of them for Connor?"

"WHAT?" everyone asked. They all picked up a present each and looked at the gift tags.

"He's right!" Erol exclaimed.

"You don't have to sound so surprised." Jak glared.

"Well Jak, it is surprising that you're right for once." Erol smirked. Jak bared his teeth.

"Now, now boys." Razer drawled. "Play nicely."

"Ugh." Jak shook his head in disgust. They had a more important issue to address – he could kick Erol's butt later. "Connor, why are all of the presents addressed to you?"

"Because they are." Connor shrugged.

"That's not a reason!" Jak insisted.

"Well, Christmas is all about giving, so I thought that you guys could give all of your presents to me!" Connor exclaimed merrily.

"..."

"Did I do something wrong?" Connor asked, looking around the room. Everyone was glaring at him.

"You mean... they're all of our presents?" Torn asked.

"Yep." Connor beamed. His face fell. "Uh oh..."

"I'M GOING TO KILL YOU!" Jak and Erol both bellowed at the same time.

"Oops!" Connor said, his eyes widening. "I guess I made you guys mad... BYE!" Connor ran out of the room and out of the house with Jak and Erol chasing him. Connor opened the garden gate and closed it behind him, knocking Jak over. Erol vaulted over the gate and continued chasing Connor. There was a crackle of dark Eco, and Dark Jak sprung over the fence. Connor pulled a banana out of his pocket and peeled it, whilst he was running along. He threw the banana skin over his shoulder and Erol slipped on it.

"Oh damn." Erol cursed. Dark Jak then tripped over Erol and they ended up in a heap on the floor. Dark Jak changed back into normal Jak. He rubbed his head.

"Ow..." Jak whined, rubbing his head where he had hit it on the sidewalk.

"Stop whining." Erol snapped. "And get off me. I want to kill Connor."

"So do I!" Jak protested. "Why don't we work together?"

"..."

"Keira always says we should co-operate!" Jak snapped.

"Okay." Erol sighed. "Where did he go?"

"I don't know." Jak grumbled.

"Oh, brilliant." Erol said sarcastically. "Now we've lost him."

"It's not my fault!" Jak protested. "You're the one that slipped on the banana skin!"

"Yeah... how did he peel that banana whilst he was running from us?" Erol asked. "That's really hard to do!"

"He's Connor?" Jak suggested. "Come on, he can't have gone far."

"Jak! Are you okay?" Keira came running towards Jak and Erol, followed by everyone else.

"I'm fine." Jak sighed. "I just wish we'd caught Connor."

"LOOK AT THAT!" Tess gasped and pointed up at the sky. Connor was hovering above them, sitting in a sleigh. With reindeer.

"No way..." Jak's eyes widened.

"Of course not!" Connor scoffed. "I just rented it!"

"Please tell me I'm hallucinating..." Erol said weakly.

"Nope." Connor beamed. "Oh, and I felt kind of bad for stealing all of your presents." He patted the sack in the back of his sleigh. "So here's some compensation."

"Where is it?" Jak asked .

"Hang on a sec..." Connor said, rummaging in the glove box of his sleigh. "Aha!" he took out several large wads of cash and threw them over the edge.

"Oh wow, thanks Connor!" Keira said. Jak looked at the money.

"IT ISN'T EVEN REAL MONEY!" Torn exploded. "IT'S MONOPOLY MONEY!"

"Pfft. I wasn't really sorry." Connor cackled. "This is payback for all of the horrible things you guys did to me. MERRY CHRISTMAS!"

"If you ever show your face again I swear..." Erol started to say. He never got to finish his sentence, because Connor sped away towards the horizon. Everyone gaped after him.

"This is the worst Christmas ever." Jak grumbled. "No presents."

"Jak, aren't you forgetting something?" Samos asked.

"Don't think so." Jak replied thoughtfully.

"Christmas is a time for family. It's not just about the presents." Samos said.

"I guess you're right." Jak sighed. "Come on guys, let's go home and have Christmas lunch."

"If Connor didn't steal that too." Erol grumbled. Everyone looked at each other.

"You don't think he did..." Keira said.

"No." Jak said. "Absolutely not."

"..." Jak and Keira looked at everyone else, then back at each other.

"Let's go home... NOW." Everyone ran back to Jak and Keira's house, praying that Connor hadn't stolen their Christmas dinner.

**The end. Tell me what you think of the story, and of Connor. I swear he gets madder every time!**

**I dare someone to draw Torn with his bed hair and show me.**


End file.
